Artifact
by Magician Irono
Summary: How could something this old have possibly survived all these years?
1. Chapter 1

SCREW YOU, ABSENT BREAKLINES!

Ah, sorry. It's just that the breaklines that I originally had in the first two oneshots never appeared when published. I do not understand this, so if someone would please explain, I will love you forever and give you a gold star.

Anyway, Thanks guys. I like that you are giving me more detail in your reviews. Now I know what to write to make you all happy. : ) That makes me feel good when you like my stories.

This one will be a little experimental. "Not to Pry" and "Empathy" were both hurt/comfort fics. I am going to attempt a humor fic here, so I apologize if it's not very funny. I'm not used to writing comedy. But also, this is my first multi-chapter fic. So wish me luck, guys!

Disclaimer: I would say I owned Astro boy, but then Osamu Tezuka would come up, b****-slap me and say "Yeah, you wish you owned it, FOOL!" but it would probably sound more like, "ええ、あなたがそれを所有したい、ばか!" Anyway, enjoy the show!

Artifact

Chapter one: Discovery

"Darn you and your internal fans, Astro!'

"Well, darn you and your sweat, Zane. I'm still hot on the outside."

"Then just take your clothes off and quit being a baby about it. You have that black underwear or whatever bolted to your waist. Cora might like a little "Magic Mike" action, anyway."

"I'm not taking my clothes off, sick-o!"

"Then quit whining about being hot!"

"Will you two just shut up already? You sound worse than Widget and Sludge!"

It was one of summer's hottest days and the gang had to spend it looking for parts Hamegg could use to repair and build his robots with. Any other day would have been fine, preferably an afternoon with a few clouds and a breeze. But today? The heat was horrendously uncomfortable, putting everyone, even Astro, at risk for heat stroke. It seemed to ooze everywhere and cover everything, turning the junkyard into an open-air oven. Humidity stricken air suffocated the "treasure hunters". Each dressed lightly in tank tops and shorts, but it didn't do much good. Their water supply was already half gone and the sun hung high and proud in a clear sky, bereft of clouds and, therefore, life-giving shade. Each would have much rather been in Salvador Dali's famous watch painting than here: It least it might've been cooler.

"Can't we just go back," whined Widget. "I'm gonna die and it's going to be your guys' faults."

"Not until we find that those converters Hamegg wants," replied Cora.

"We can't find anything," moaned Sludge. He plopped down on a pile or trash and dull scraps. "I give up."

Cora bent down to the boy's level. She frowned, understanding the child's discomfort. "We have to keep moving, Sludge. The sooner we can get the job done, the sooner we can go home."

"Kid has the right idea though," Piped up Zane. "Hamegg didn't say we couldn't take a break. That a good idea?"

"I'm in."

"Second it."

"That's the smartest thing I've ever herd you say, Zane."

"Whatever, Cora."

"I can dig under the trash for shade," suggested Astro. "Besides, those converters are older models, so we'd be more likely to find them the deeper we go."

"So long as we get cooled off and not buried, it's fine with me." Zane wiped the sweat off his forehead and turned to the robot. "Do your thing, man."

Astro grinned, though exhausted like the others. "With pleasure."

Like you shake an IPod shuffle to change the song, Astro only had to give his arm a little jolt from his shoulder to activate the arm cannon. The robot's arm, from the elbow to the hand, seemed to turn inside out as synthetic skin was replaced by a strong, silvery alloy. The cannon itself was simple in exterior design, but the intricate network of wires and miniature pistons made up for it in its awe-inspiring firepower. Astro aimed at a spot far away from the group and fired. Not only did the blasts make a perfect cylindrical tunnel, but made it a stable one. The heat had melted the junk metal, thus forming a well-supported wall. By the time they got there, the walls had cooled, eliminating the chance of burns on contact with the skin. The group entered and took their spots in the shade. The interior was still a little toasty, but was much better than the weather outside.

"Thank you, Jesus," exclaimed Sludge. He slid down the wall, tugging at the collar of his tank top.

"You're welcome," replied Astro. He switched his eye lights on to get a better look of the inside of the tunnel. The blast had dug pretty deep, but it was no trouble. Astro could easily peel back the melted floor and start digging there.

"Why didn't one of us think of that earlier," asked Cora, taking a long swig of her water.

"The sun fried our brains," answered Widget. She mimicked Cora's action, but found that her bottle was empty. She reached for her brother's bottle. Sludge didn't like that.

"Get your own," he grunted, shoving his sister back.

"I'm out," she whined, making another grab for the container. "Besides, you're the older one. You gotta look out for me."

"By 90 seconds, butt-face."

"You still gotta share, face-butt!"

The argument went ignored, being the commonplace thing it was. Cora spoke up again. "If the sun fried our brains, then how did Zane come up with the idea?"

Zane punched Cora in the shoulder. "Are you saying I'm stupid?"

"You don't learn much by being raised by wild dogs." There was a bit of elvish sarcasm in her words. Cora playfully squirted water in Zane's direction. The boy made no effort to move and accepted the splash gratefully.

"She's not even kidding," Astro called. He had his arm back and was already digging for Hamegg's parts in the cave's floor. "Trashcan is smarter than you."

"Is not! Prove it!" Zane wiped off the excess water.

"The day I found Zog, remember? Trashcan wrote in the dirt that I was a robot and you couldn't even read it. The dog is more literate than you are."

"Ooooh," chuckled Widget, still battling her brother for the water. "Buuurrn!"

"What, you guys agree?" Zane looked as hurt as his voice sounded.

"No," said Cora. She put her arm around Zane. "You still got street smarts."

Astro had already dug in the trash a fair ways down. Sadly, he didn't find the converters. Every now and then he would come across a dead battery. The boy would look around to see if someone was watching and, when the coast was clear, he would toss it in his bag(for obvious reasons).

"Astro, if I find you digging around for batteries, I have no problem giving them to Trashcan as chew toys," Cora called out.

The robot gave a disappointed moan and dropped the object. Someone above imitated the snap of a whip's crack, the sound of "one hand clapping" followed closely after, and then a pained, "Owww…"

Astro was fine. He got antsy if he was just sitting still, so it was good that he was still digging around for the converters, listening to the antics of his friends and occasionally commenting. Sadly, Astro did not find Hamegg's requested items. But he did find something equally valuable.

In his search for the converters, his wrist got tangled up in a long black cord. Astro cocked his head to the side. "What is this," he muttered out loud. For being this deep, even if it was just a cord, it was in surprisingly good condition. Astro tugged on the cord from both ends. One didn't give so well, but the other came up just fine. The robot was even more confused at the device with the black tail.

It was a small rectangle, equipped with five buttons. Four were labeled: A, B, start, and select. The fifth one made a black plus sign. Astro sat on his knees and dug more to find what was on the other end of the cord. Eventually he found it, but was even more baffled. The object on the other end of the black cord was…a box?

Yes, a box. An off white covered the entire device, save a black stripe on the right side that didn't even stretch all the way around and a grey base. The chord was plugged into an outlet on the box and looked like it could be easily removed. A strange opening sat at the top. The device also had a faded red lettering, but Astro couldn't make out a single word. The boy turned the device over and over. A few words slipped out of his mouth.

"What are you…?"

"Hey, did you find anything yet," Cora called. "'Cause we can help if you want."

The robot shook his head, though no one could see. "I think I found something," he said.

"The converters?"

"No." Astro looked up at his friends as they peered down the hole he dug. "And why am I the only one digging anyway?"

"Because you're the only one who wants to," answered Sludge. "What did'ja find?"

Astro climbed up with the box. "I wish I knew. There's writing, but I can't make it out."

"Have a peek inside then," suggested Zane. "See if you can find out what it is that way."

Astro shrugged and activated his X-ray vision. The irises of his eyes went from brow to blue and his pupils from black to white. It creeped out his friends to some extent, but he didn't care at the moment. Astro got his look, turning the device over, but furrowed his brows in confusion. It was a network of wires and data chips, but there weren't a lot of parts in the entire machine.

"What is it," asked Widget. "What is it? What is it?"

"I still don't know," replied Astro. "But it's primitive. I can't see how it stayed in such good condition this whole time." Astro switched off his eye tool, the optic color palette returning to normal. He handed it to his friends so they could get a look. He gave them the rectangle, too. "I found this attached to it."

The objects were passed around. Sludge and Widget, as usual, were fighting over who got to see what. Everyone was as bewildered as Astro was. The buttons on the rectangle were tested. The fossil didn't seem like it would do much, and it probably couldn't if the functions were little more than the basics.

"I'd say this piece of junk is about as old as Hamegg," commented Zane. "He'd know what it is."

"We still gotta find the converters, though," answered Cora.

"Screw the converters," protested Sludge.

"Yeah," Widget added. "We gotta find out what this is!"

Astro spoke up. "Well, if they actually agree on something…"

"Yeah," said Zane. "It's a sign…"

"Is not," snorted Cora. "But if you lug-bugs want to see what it is THAT BAD, then I guess we can take it to Hamegg."

"So let's GO!" Sludge pulled on Cora's arm and dragged her out the tunnel. The others followed suit. Astro couldn't help but grin. He knew Cora was interested in the enigma, just like the others. He followed the group, equally eager to get answers.

"Hey, Astro."

"Yeah, Zane?"

"You're a robot, right?"

"…Yeah."

"With jet boots?"

"What are you getting at?"

"Why didn't you fly? To look for the parts, I mean."

"…"

"Hamegg, we're back."

"Ah, welcome home, misfits." Hamegg tipped up his mask and turned to the scavengers. "Did you find the parts I asked for?"

The children slipped into the room. The password wasn't a problem, since Cora was still pretty scary to the younger orphans. After dodging the dangers of rambunctious playtime, the group was safely inside Hamegg's workshop. The lights were dim, but the area was still visible enough to see what was what. Hamegg had been working on a particularly complex robot that could function on solar energy, hence the need for the converters. He lowered his lifting platform and walked to his work table to see the goodies the treasure hunters had brought him.

"We found a couple of things," said Widget. She emptied her rucksack on the table. "All Astro wanted to do was dig around for dead batteries."

"He still found that old box-thing," Zane countered, also presenting his treasures on Hamegg's work bench. "We figured you would know what it was since it's so old."

"Gee, nice to know I'm needed," joked the man as he dug around the "treasure" pile. "So it's a box?"

"It's stone-age stuff," explained Sludge. "You know all about that."

"Minus five points. Now let's have a look."

Astro dug in his own bag and pulled out the ancient artifact. "None of us know what it is but the overall design is pretty simple. Maybe it was the unsellable junk of an antique store or something. Nothing on the inside but a- Hey…Hamegg, are you ok? "

Said man didn't respond. He just stared at the box with wide eyes as though it were solid gold. Hamegg too the device up in his hands and walked away a few steps, immersed in the box's supposed glory. Zane leaned over to Astro.

"The last time I saw that face he was checking out some fat chick," he whispered. Astro could only stare as though the boy had a third eye and second nose. Zane chuckled. "You think I'm joking?"

"Shut up, Zane." Cora nudged said bot in the shoulder.

"You're abusive today." Zane stuck out his lower lip.

Cora ignored Zane's comment. "So what is it?"

The man turned to face the kids. "Do you have a controller," Hamegg asked bluntly.

The only one who could reply was Widget, who gave a simple "Huh".

"A controller," the foster dad repeated. "With buttons, you know?" He imitated a texting motion with his thumbs.

Astro remembered the black cord and the rectangle with its buttons. Did he still have it? The robot rummaged in his bag again. Yup, it was still there. The cord was wrapped around the rectangle to keep it from getting tangled in anything else that was in the bag at the time. He pulled the item out and handed it to Hamegg. "Is this what you're talking about?"

Hamegg took the "controller", unraveling the long cord and inspecting the buttons. His face lit up, like a child on Christmas morning. A giddy grin appeared on his face that could have wrapped around his head twice. He shoved the item back in Astro's possession. Hamegg started to leave, skipping out the door.

"You kids stay here a minute," he beamed. "I'm going to see if I still got 'em." With that, the man left the room, leaving the children even more bewildered that before.

"Well, if it gets him that excited," stated Cora, "then it must be important."

Zane leaned over to Astro again. "Last time I saw that face-"

Astro threw his hand up to Zane. "Don't even."

Zane turned the other way. "Today's not my day…"

Soon enough, Hamegg came back, practically prancing, with a cardboard box in his arms. He shoved the parts the children got out of the way so he could set his own treasure down. This box had writing on it too, but Hamegg tore off the tape and opened it up before anyone could read what it said. The gang peered inside the box.

Inside lay several strange cartridges, jumbled up in a disorganized mess. Though the box was only half full, the numbers appeared to be countless. So did the colors, for that matter. Each had a very distinct picture in the front. Widget picked up a cartridge with a periwinkle background, men with guns, and the word "Contra" in big silvery letters, save an orange and yellow "C". Sludge found one with a pink blob wearing red shoes sucking in the cloudy sky. This one was titled, "Kirby's adventure".

"Hey," the boy poked Astro. "He's got your shoes."

"He's gotta get some hair," Astro replied.

"So…what are these," Cora asked.

Hamegg grinned at the kids. All was quiet, save the banter outside the man's work shop. The air started to grow heavy with suspense. He didn't answer right away, as if the truth was too awesome to handle. It was starting to get ridiculous. Finally, the man spoke.

"Video games."

There was a pause with a long enough timeframe for the scratch of a record before the youth group gave a big, simultaneous, "Huh". It was crazy. Video games came in discs, not in chunky grey slabs.

Hamegg ignored the response and continued with his explanation. "What you found, Astro," he began, as though he were telling an epic story, "is a genuine Nintendo Entertainment System. This baby had a great library of side-scrollers, shoot-'em-ups and platforming games. This is where a lot of the Nintendo legends began. The legend of Zelda, Mario, even little pinkie over there." The man gestured to the Kirby cartridge. "The last time I saw one was in an antique shop. It was mine and we had to sell it since funds were low. The games, too, but I kept the best for myself, just in case."

Astro picked up a cartridge and inspected it: Mega man. The blue suit was both ridiculous and amusing. "Sounds like you really like video games. When was the console made?"

"If memory serves me right, sometime in the 1980s-the beginning of the Nintendo era. It was an antique when even I was a kid. Brings back a lot of good memories for me."

"Wow…"

"Well," Hamegg stood up, "Let's fire her up! If you found it in such good condition, then it has to work. I can't wait to show you misfits the beauties of the NES library."

Not much later, the NES machine was connected to one of the many televisions in the building and ready to be played. The games were organized in a drawer. If they could have, each cartridge would have been quaking with anticipation, impatient to be played again. The group, especially Hamegg, was excited to see the precedent of what was known as one of the greatest names in video game history. A cartridge titled "Rygar" was locked and loaded, ready for play. There was only one problem, though…

"Blasted thing doesn't want to work," grumbled Hamegg.

"But I thought you said it was in good condition," whined Widget.

"It is," replied the man. "But this thing's dead. Every time I try to start it up, a white screen comes up." He turned to Astro. "Hey Astro, you got Cora's phone to work, right?"

"Yeah."

"Think you can juice this baby up?"

"I'm not using the blue core to fix an old game console. Besides, it's probably some glitch or whatever. Try a different game."

"Well, you're helpful." Hamegg dug into the box and pulled out a random game. He blew in the slot and replaced Rygar. The white screen returned. The man tried another game, but got a green screen this time. Hamegg sighed. "It's not working."

"Still not using the core."

"Astro, quit being a sour-puss," Cora crawled over to the robot and threw an arm around his shoulder. "I bet you're afraid to lose. There are multiplayer games in there, right."

"I got a couple," replied Hamegg.

"I'm not afraid to lose," shot the robot.

Cora giggled. "Not to a giant robot or alien. But it's just a game. I don't see why you gotta get upset over it."

"I'm not scared to lose a video game."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Then fix the Nintendo."

"Fine." Astro walked to the console, sat down, and pointed his finger at it. A second later, a vein-like trail of blue core energy traveled from his chest, down his arm, and out the finger to the machine. It was a little bigger than a cellphone, so it took a little more juice. As the machine got its fill, Astro broke the synapse before it could recoil and zap him back. "There. Happy?"

"I promise I'll let you win," Cora flirted.

"Shut up."

"Don't be so cranky, buddy," cheered Hamegg. "You got it working again!"

An opening screen flashed on the TV. Pixelated music chimed. Astro's pride-hurt mood faded at the sight of how happy everyone was that the console. With that, the group dove head-first into the world of 8-bit, square-structured, side-scrolling action and adventure.

Zane took the first round. He pressed the start button.


	2. Rygar

WHERE ARE MY BREAKLINES?! Seriously guys, I need help. The breaklines run away from me. It's like they don't want to do their job. I need help, so please help me. :'(

Also, something I forgot to mention in the last chapter: I want you all in this story. Send in suggestions. What games do you want to see them play? What jokes do you want to see? That kind of stuff. Let's make it a group effort. But we need to remember, it's the audience that matters. (Sure, mine only consists of three, but I still love you all) I can't guarantee I will use all the jokes and some may be modified, but I will give credit where credit is due.

Also, my sincerest apologies. I have not updated because school has started. I have both honors and AP classes, so my time will be short due to constant WORK! X( But I will do my best to write and update. Please forgive me!

Disclaimer: Do I have to do one for every chapter?

"Yes, you do. Now get on with it so the people can read the story."

You're speaking more than I am…

"Because you don't want to do the FREAKING DISCLAIMER!"

Ugh, fine. Osamu Tezuka owns Astro boy, not me. Enjoy the show!

Chapter 2: Rygar

"So I'm beating people up with a yo-yo?"

"Diskarmor," corrected Hamegg. Zane held the controller in his hands as he would a cellphone (if Cora hadn't taken it), ready to text. "And you get other items as the game goes. Grappling hook, crossbow, that kind of stuff. Just like Zelda."

"And it's not a rip-off?"

"The game has a yo-yo for a weapon," piped up Astro.

"Ahem."

"Oh, sorry. Diskarmor."

Since the console finally worked (thanks to Astro), the Nintendo was moved to the basement, away from the noise to the other orphans that would have been too loud. Downstairs was a couch, an armchair, and an old cathode-ray television. The clamor was muffled and the group took it, despite the chill from rising heat. Some sat on the floor, while others took their seats on the couch.

The game's graphics were alien to the kids, to say the least. It was like watching a poorly outlined cartoon made out of blocks, though the color palette was bright enough to help identify what was what in the game world. Yet the color was bright, making the graphics appear to be alive. It popped out and hooked one's attention immediately. The music had that adventure feel we all hear in the legend of Zelda theme- bold, but the sound was a little grainy and had nothing but synthesizer-like beeps for music (not to say it wasn't catchy, but still). Immediately, Zane was thrown into a temple-like area, being attacked by turtles and rolling earth worms. The first screen depicted the evening, with an orange sky and purple mountains in the background. The plot was simple enough: get to the end before you lose all your lives.

Zane was doing pretty well: Already he had found out how to jump and was hopping over his enemies.

"HOW DO I ATTACK?!" The boy hammered the B button frantically.

"You hit the A button," replied Hamegg.

"WHICH ONE'S THE A BUTTON?!" But it was too late. In Zane's hop-scotch game with the reptiles and bugs, the avatar, named Rygar, had fallen into a pit, forsaken by a careless controller. A disappointed chime sounded from the game and a continue screen popped up. Zane gave a defeated moan. A couple of the kids snickered.

"Fail," giggled Cora.

Zane could just growl. Hamegg squatted next to Zane and took up the controller. He pointed to the B button. "This is the B button. It makes you jump." The man moved his finger to the red button next to it. "This is the A button. This makes you attack."

There were a couple more snickers. Zane ignored them and tried again. He did a lot better this time. Sure, he was still hopping over his enemies, but to dodge the attacks deliberately. Zane made it to the second screen, presenting a new song. There were ropes, but those were easy for even Zane to figure out. The avatar climbed up a rope and made it to an opening it a dead tree. Zane hopped on the other branch and entered.

The interior of the tree was dark. The music took a lower octave and slower tempo. The notes held an eerie chill. There was a strange man with a beard that sat to the right of the screen. A box appeared and a white text crawled in the space provided.

"Is that Santa," asked Widget.

"I think its Buddha," replied Sludge.

"That looks nothing like Buddha!"

"You don't even know who Buddha is, dummy."

"Uh, guys," said Zane. "A little help?"

Astro's reply took a few seconds. "Trashcan," he called.

"No, shut up!" Zane made quick to slap Astro in the back of the head. It didn't affect the robot and he kept laughing. "I'm serious. This guy's creeping me out!'

"Fine, fine," giggled Astro. He read the text out loud. "In the Gran Mountain lies the entrance to…'Garloz'?"

"I think that's a place in the game," suggested Cora.

"I hope that's all he has to say, because I'm getting outta here." Zane exited the tree. "He's like a shirtless Dumbledor."

"Thanks for the image," said Cora.

The cheery music was back and the sun was out. Zane was about to climb back down when he spotted more tree branches-jumping platforms. He made his way across those and down another rope. The slaughter of innocent turtles and worms began again. Cora had a topic to discuss. She leaned over to Hamegg.

"Why was that guy in the tree, like, five times bigger than the avatar?"

"Beats me, "he replied. "Those are questions you just don't ask. Too much trouble."

The player progresses in the game with a greater knowledge of his enemies. Even the lizards were no match as they climbed down from their posts at the top of the screen. At one point Zane made his way into a cave. More turtles had appeared. Though these were much bigger than the ones encountered previously, the creatures took fewer hits. Another problem arose as well.

"Where do I GOOO," whined Zane. "It's a friggin' maze!"

"You gotta figure that out yourself, kiddo," chuckled Hamegg. "I did it on my own."

"But you had internet, didn't you?"

"Doesn't mean I needed it."

"Someone go find me a walkthrough or something!"

"You do it," Cora joined in.

"Can't read."

"Doesn't mean I'm doing it."

"You're not even playing the game! Go find me a walkthrough."

"As you wish, your highness." Cora stood up and made her way upstairs. The clamor of playtime had faded into a dull roar. Cora would be safe.

Astro turned to Zane. "Jerk."

Zane smirked. "Cling-on."

"Hey, none of that," interjected Hamegg. "It's just a game.

Cora came back with the walkthrough printed out on paper. Even though the game was old, finding the information was not difficult. More importantly, she came back unscathed by the few overtime players. The girl sat back down and read off the instructions to Zane, who followed without a second thought.

There was a chamber of the cave with mineral rich-water. Zane snickered. He moved the avatar to the edge, made Rygar turn his back, and pressed the down arrow on the D-pad. Sludge raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing," he asked.

Zane grinned. "Taking a dump."

Hamegg sighed. Sludge laughed. Astro snickered a bit, too. Widget gave a long, "Eewww" to emphasize the inappropriate content of the joke. Cora agreed with Widget. "Only little kids find that funny, Zane." Astro covered his mouth and tried to suppress his giggles as the girl said this. "What are you, a two-year-old?"

"Got this reading level of a two-year-old," added Hamegg.

"And you guys wonder why I'm a jerk," groaned Zane. "Just tell me where to go, 'kay?"

"Right, right," replied Cora. She turned back to her paper. "Take a left up there."

Zane obeyed faithfully. Chatter had arisen among the group while Cora provided directions. Astro would hop around from conversation to conversation, offering a comment or suggestion. He was talking to Cora about miscellaneous topics. The girl had to give the next direction. "Turn left," she said.

Astro had been keeping track as well in case she lost her place. Cora had given the wrong direction and the robot was about to speak up when he realized something: She had been making several of these mistakes. Repeatedly and deliberately. He nudged Cora. She turned her head to him. "Left," he questioned.

Cora gave a sly grin and a silent chuckle. Astro understood the tacit message

"Oh yeah," he said, mimicking Cora's expression. "Left."

These two were the only ones who knew of this prank. No one else was paying attention to Zane's game anymore. Some had gone upstairs to get snacks. Zane's eyes began to droop a bit. He continually followed the instructions.

"Up."

The boy went up.

"Left."

The boy went left.

"Left again."

The boy went left again-back to the entrance. Cora told Zane to take a right, which he did. Astro jabbed his fist into his mouth. Zane didn't even notice. After all this time, he didn't notice that he was running in circles! Not even as he passed the entrance! The twins and Hamegg had stopped their chatter to watch. They tried to keep from laughing, but the act proved to be about as difficult as if Widget and Sludge were to try not to fight for a full twenty-four hours. Eventually a choir of snickers and giggles arose from the silence. Now, Zane DID notice this. He turned his head back with a confused look on his face. Everyone was silent, some biting their lower lips, others with suspicious smiles. He needed to say only three words to set the group off.

"What's so funny?"

None of them could hold it back anymore. A boisterous laughter roared at the question. The decibels rivaled those of playtime upstairs. Cora was slapping her knee. Hamegg threw his head back. Zane could only stare and wonder. Astro pointed to Cora. "Her idea," He snickered.

"Her idea to what?"

"Nothing, nothing," giggled Widget. "Keep going, man"

"No, I'm not going."

"Zane, you have to keep going."

"I'm not going until you guys tell me what's up."

Cora jumped in. "Seriously, Zane. You gotta keep going or you'll d-"

Again, it was too late. The Rygar avatar fell to the ground. A massive turtle towered above the corpse. This was one was one of the BFG ("Big Friendly Giant") turtles, of course. A negative death tone played himed. The continue screen returned.

Zane turned to the group. The expression was not twisted with anger or frustration. It was actually quite blank. However, it gave off a strange "Don't mess with me" aura that reached across the room and crawled on the surface of whatever it touched. The laughter died down. Hamegg gulped. Widget clung to Cora's arm.

After a few moments, Zane turned back to the screen and selected "Continue".

The boy had called Grace down to read the map since none of the others could be trusted. As he made his way through the cave, he continued to fight the turtles, though some simply lost their lives by running into the wall. After making his way up a flight of stairs, Rygar slipped into a hole and met up with Santa-Buddha again. Grace read this dialogue, too. This time he was kind enough to give Zane a grappling hook. The player exited the cave and slipped into another entrance later on, only to meet the strange man again.

"Does this guy have, like, a million brothers or something," he mused.

"Maybe some of them are sisters," replied Grace.

Zane shuddered at the thought (he wasn't alone). "Dumbledor's got some butt-ugly sisters…"

Dragons came-the green European ones like in the movie "Pete's dragon". One would think a dragon would be the final boss, or at least one of them. But no. The dragons were common enemies, like the rolling worms and turtles. Rocky terrain and even floating platforms stood in Rygar's way. The grappling hook had proved to be very useful in reaching higher levels that could not be jumped up to. Zane had a descent handle on the controls. The challenges were no match for Zane now.

Then a boss battle came.

Every video game has boss battles. This was the first one. Rygar was a game based on mythology and of the epic adventures of the character, Rygar. The boss had multiple lion's heads and a red turtle's shell (Did the creators run out of ideas?) for the body. As soon as Zane entered the chamber, the creature coughed up balls of fire towards the victim. Zane felt a sinking fear immediately as he was assaulted. That adrenaline-induced anxiety an athlete feels before his or her race-that this-is-it nervousness. One again, the player was hopping around, on and off platforms, desperately trying to survive. This was the basics of human instinct. Fight or flight. The spectators shot commands at the gladiator.

"Jump! Jump!"

"Watch out!"

"Get 'im, Zane!"

Fire balls flew everywhere, almost unavoidable. Zane couldn't jump because he was attacking. He couldn't attack because he was jumping. Only a few units of health remained. The last life was almost gone. Rygar was almost gone. The prophecy of death seemed to breathe down Zane's sweaty neck and forehead. The abomination spewed it's pyromatic ammunition. Defeat was coming. It was over.

Then something clicked. The panic concerning life and death suddenly vanished. Gone like a weak memory in the hurricane of time. There was nothing now but a quintescent focus. Zane's features hardened. His fingers flexed with a practiced fluidity as Rygar received his silent orders. The jumps were strategized, the attacks strong and aggressive. The avatar's health was still sparse and his chances of survival narrow. But now so were those of the creature. The pace of the music quickened. The enemy's attacks grew more frequent, but in vain. The cheers escalated in vigor as well.

"Wooh yeah! Go Zane!"

"Pwned!"

"Kick some butt, man!"

The animal's power diminished by the second. Zane was still going strong. He was going to beat it. The fiend will die. Rygar will move ahead victorious!

"Barkbarkbark!"

WHAM!

Just moments ago, time seemed stagnant, the seconds wading slowly through tension. That was the main focus-the excitement. Suddenly, it had eased into slow motion rather than a pause. Every detail was coherent and easily observable. A rust-brown shape had rammed into Zane. On impact, the controller flew out of the boy's grip. The real world was not the only place in which seconds had been captured into separate slides. In the game world, tragedy struck. Rygar stood still, paralyzed. The beast took advantage of precious time. It took a deep breath and spat out it's last, devastating fire ball.

The controller collided with the ground.

The brown object landed, scurrying to the couch.

The fireball hit Rygar, sending his burnt corpse into the dirt.

Game over.

The title screen appeared again. All was silent, save the barking. Everyone turned their attention to the source of the sound. It was Trashcan. The mechanical dog had already plastered his tongue to Astro's face, who was trying to push him away. Zane turned around slowly, after a moment of staring at the screen in a horrified defeat.

"Hey, cut it out," laughed Astro. Trashcan continued with his woofs, but not for long. Both robots could feel the glare of an angry video game player carving into their beings, almost as deep as their batteries. The three locked gazes. It was common sense, really. Trashcan whimpered and scrambled out of the way.

Astro followed suit.

Soon enough, the robot was caught helplessly a cat and mouse chase. Zane's vocabulary was astounding, considering he was illiterate. Sadly, the words are not appropriate for an audience of this age group, so ask again later when you're all older. Astro couldn't fight, due to the laws of robotics, but Zane could throw all the blows he wanted. He even punched a hole in the aged drywall. The chase was taken upstairs, where the noise had risen again. Hamegg scrambled up the stair case to stop the fight. Grace followed for the free show, jumping every other step screaming "Fight! Fight! Fight". That left the twins and Cora to pick a new game.

"You can pick one, Cora" said Widget. "I think the others will be busy for a while."

Cora couldn't help but agree. "I'm sure they'll be fine, anyway."

Rygar was removed from the Nintendo and placed back in it's place in the new game drawer. Cora thumbed through the cartridges like files in a cabinet. A firey-red picture stood out against the grey plastic. She picked it up and read the title.

"Ninja Gaiden?"

The man on the cover had left an entire city in flames. His wrists were wrapped in blood-red cloth and he wore almost all black. A knife held secure in his fist, a javelin in the other. The ninja's gaze was menacing and held promises of murder rather than threats. It was a reflection of the desire for blood. This had nothing to do with honor. This was a vendetta.

Cora smiled. The boys could have their little fight. The girl would have hers with shuriken and slaughter.

**BREAKLINE HERE!**

FINALLY! DONE WITH DA CHAPTER! Remember guys, I want you in on this, too. Send in suggestions about what games and jokes you want played and seen. Again, sorry this took so long. Maybe when I learn to manage my time better I will post more. See you all next time. Hope it's soon!

-Magician Irono


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